Hello Horror Lovers! For my first post, I want to talk about something that is a touchy subject for
me, and for other die hard horror fans. Today's topic for discussion is
remaking classic horror films. There are a lot more horror movie remakes than
you may think. The list goes on and on and on......
Now, I'm not one of those close-minded, dismissive people
who hear about the creation of another remake and say, "OH THE FIRST ONE
WAS A CLASSIC! IT CAN NEVER BE AS GOOD AS THE FIRST ONE!" I have watched
almost every horror movie remake that has come out and judged them fairly. My
conclusion was...most of them suck. I'm not trying to be a rude jackass, but
the plain fact is that you are trying to remake movies that are already very
good, and by doing so, are automatically setting yourself up for failure. The
old saying is, "If it ain't broke, don't fix it!" Take A Nightmare on
Elm Street for example. I knew, the second I saw a preview for the remake of
this, that it would end in failure. Here's why: When I say "Freddy
Kreuger" most people know who I'm talking about. You are taking a horror
movie villain that is iconic and trying to change him, and that will always hit
a sore spot with movie goers who have seen the original. Most people don't like
change like that in film because they already have a cemented idea of how this
villain should be and how the movie should go. Jackie Earle Haley isn't a bad
actor, nor was his Freddy Krueger awful, but when he's compared to Robert
Englund, he seems quite inferior. It's what I like to call "Dorothy
Syndrome". Everybody who hears "Wizard of Oz" automatically
thinks of Judy Garland as Dorothy. Now, you may see a stage show of Wizard of
Oz in the theater, and the actress playing Dorothy may be phenomenal, but in
the back of your head you think, "She's not Judy Garland." Ending the
rant on the Nightmare on Elm Street remake, there were other elements besides
Freddy that made the movie fail, but I want to address other points so I'll
just say one more thing. The one part of the movie I found intriguing that the
original didn't have was how it delved more into Freddy's personal history and
whether he really hurt children at all. I mean, of course he did, that's pretty
predictable, but I still enjoyed the little flashbacks of his pre-burned life.
The biggest problem I have with horror movie remakes is not
that they fail, but that some people (mostly younger people) don't realize
they're remakes. My girl friends worry me when they tell me of horror movies
they dared to see. " I just saw Last House on the Left in theatres! It was
so sick!" This is were I enthusiastically tell them that they should see
the original. So awesome! To which they reply, "There's another
one?!?!" I say yes. "Oh I don't really like old movies."
To which I walk away grumbling to myself. -__- I get it that some people see older movies as a little corny
or cheesy or "HEY WHERE'S THE CGI?" but the fear is STILL THERE I
TELL YOU! IN IT'S ORIGINAL FORM! The scariest remake conversation I had wasn't
technically about a remake, but OH GOD MY SOUL WEPT FOR HOURS. I was having a
sleepover with two friends in high school and I offered we watch The Exorcist.
"Oh we love that movie! The Exorcism of Emily Rose was so scary!" No
not Emily Rose, just the original Exorcist. "There's another movie about
exorcism and demons?!" 😡 !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Anyways I seem to be rambling on quite a bit. Sorry. I have
so much more to say, but I'll stop for now. Perhaps I'll even do a part two. There are a select few remakes I
like (one or two), but most are a no-go for me. I'll end my blog with a
challenge. A challenge to the movie industry in general. MOVIE INDUSTRY, IF YOU
ARE LISTENING, PLEASE GIVE ME A FILM THAT IS ORIGINAL. STOP TRYING TO TAKE
MASTERPIECES AND MAKE THEM BETTER! I would not take Van Gogh's Starry Starry
Night, vomit on it, and say, "HERE THIS IS MY ART I MADE IT BETTER."
And please, oh pretty please, DON'T REMAKE A MOVIE AND GIVE IT A DIFFERENT
TITLE. I'M LOOKING AT YOU "THE ROOMATE"!!! WE ALL KNOW YOU'RE A
REMAKE OF SINGLE WHITE FEMALE DAMNIT!
